Sub To Smi - ILSIM

 

- 아빠?
- 응?

 

물이 녹색이에요

 

아니, 형광색이야

 

- 그게...
- 형광색

 

안에서 빛이 난단 뜻이야

 

그럼 나도 형광색이에요?

 

그럼, 도리

 

"우리가 불 속에서 잃어버린 것들"

 

괜찮아

 

할머니는 왜 하루 종일 자요?

 

진정제를 드셨어

 

그게 뭔데요?

 

잠이 오게 하는 약을 드셨단다

 

아들을 잃었잖니

 

그건 제일 고통스런 일이란다

 

아빠를 잃은 것보다요?

 

그건 달라

 

달라

 

- 사촌 로라가 온대
- 그래? 왜?

 

10년간 연락도 없었는데

 

브라이언의 컴퓨터야

 

난 못 보겠으니, 네가...

 

알았어, 내가 볼게

 

'스네익스290' 이 누구야?

 

세상에

 

미시건에 사는 브라이언의 대학 친구야

 

뭐래?

 

소닉 농구팀의
새 파워포워드가 어떠냐는데

 

자긴 어떻게 생각한대?

 

리바운드를 잘 하는 것 같대

 

하지만 3점슛은 더 연습해야 돼

 

그럼 그렇게 써

 

좋아, 그러지

 

젠장!

 

- 뭐? 뭐?
- 젠장!

 

왜 그래?

 

- 얘기하는 걸 잊었어
- 누구?

 

닐, 날 렌튼에 데려다 줄래?

 

- 렌튼? 전화하면 안 돼?
- 전화가 없어

 

전화가 없다니?

 

- 데려다 줄래?
- 아니, 말도 안 돼!

 

좋아, 좋아, 됐어

 

내가 갈게

 

이 근처를 봐봐

 

주소록이 있어
제리 선본을 찾아봐

 

제리 선본이 누구야?

 

제리 선본이 누군데?

 

뭘 좀 드실래요?

 

아니, 괜찮소

 

난 도저히...

 

- 담배 있소?
- 네

 

고맙소

 

난 하워드 글래스먼이요

 

제리예요

 

브라이언을 어떻게 아시죠?

 

같이 자랐어요

 

전 같은 동네에 살면서
그의 사업에 돈을 댔죠

 

- 저런
- 미안해요

 

난...

 

아내 때문에요

 

만나서 반갑소

 

담배 다시 피워요?

 

자! 비켜!

 

좋아! 뛰어넘을 거야!

 

그걸 뛰어넘을 거야!

 

몰라?

 

네 머리가 너무 작아서 그래

 

- 안녕하세요
- 안녕

 

난 데이비드예요

 

난 제리야, 넌 하퍼구나

 

- 네
- 안녕

 

- 안녕
- 도리

 

네 아빤 내 제일 친한 친구였어

 

언제요?

 

너처럼 어렸을 때하고 지난 주에

 

'영원한 딸기밭' 이
네가 좋아하는 노래지?

 

도리 코의 흉터는

 

방충문이 열린 줄 알고 달렸기 때문이지

 

하지만 닫혀 있었어요

 

그건 누구나 알아, 도리

 

너 무언극 싫어하지? 무서워서

 

말을 안 하잖아요

 

그래, 맞다

 

아저씨 옷이 좀 커요

 

고맙다

 

못됐구나

 

이건 못 할 걸

 

빨리

 

- 안녕
- 안녕, 제리

 

정말 유감이요

 

와줘서 고마워요

 

와줘서 기뻐요

 

정말 올 지 확실히 몰라서요

 

- 고마워요
- 천만에요

 

당신을 싫어했는데

 

오랫동안 당신을 싫어했어요

 

괜찮아요

 

이젠 다 부질없는 짓이네요

 

바보처럼 의리있는 사람이었죠

 

나라도 당신을 포기했을 거예요

 

하지만 그는 포기 안 했죠

 

알아요

 

갈게요

 

아니... 기다려요

 

여기 있어요

 

좀 있다 가면 안 돼요?

 

- 그럼요
- 잠시만요

 

그러죠

 

좋아요

 

브라이언은 6살이었고

 

우린 컨트리클럽에
앤더슨의 손님으로 갔었죠

 

수영을 하고 있었는데

 

갑자기 브라이언이 물 밖으로 나오더니

 

수영복을 내리고는
수영장에다 오줌을 싸는 거예요

 

난리가 났죠

 

준 앤더슨도 난리치고

 

사람들이 무슨 짓이냐고 했어요

 

수영장이 변기인 것처럼 쌌다니까요

 

와

 

끝난 뒤에 왜 그랬냐고 물어봤죠

 

걘 말썽쟁이가 아니었거든요

 

설치지 않는 조용한 애였어요

 

그래서... 얘기가 엉망이 됐네!

 

그래서 내가... 조용히 해요!

 

왜 그랬냐고 했어요

 

그러자 말도 안 되는 대답을 했어요

 

뭐랬는지 잊었네, 정말 웃겼는데

 

수영복에다 싸기 싫어서 그랬대요

 

네! 맞아요!

 

'수영복에 싸기 싫었어!'

 

괜찮죠!

 

어리숙한 얘였어요

 

미안하지만 정말이야
어리숙했어

 

나중엔 괜찮아졌지만

 

집에 왔어요?

 

애들이 안 자라게 해줘

 

"위험
들어오면 책임 못 짐"

 

파스타를 만들게, 와인을 따

 

그럼 내일까지 휴가 기분을 낼 수 있어

 

갔다 와서 하자

 

- 안 돼
- 가야 돼

 

- 왜?
- 걔 생일이야

 

그래서?

 

걔 어렸을 때를 몰라서 그래
특별한 애였어

 

당신이 떠날 때마다

 

난 다시 안 올까봐 겁나

 

말도 안 되는 소리 마

 

당신은 너무 순진해

 

생일이라잖아

 

앞으로 얼마나 더 살겠어?

 

엄마?

 

- 제이
- 헤이

 

생일 축하해!

 

- 8월 3일
- 8월 3일

 

그래

 

- 너 늙었다
- 그래

 

들어와

 

- 저 여자 괜찮아?
- 괜찮아, 앉아

 

배고픈데 뭐 먹을래?

 

- 그래
- 그래? 나가자

 

- 커피, 딸기...
- 커피 말고 딸기

 

- 딸기?
- 응

 

- 수프 좀 찾아볼래?
- 응

 

그 사람들은 일이 싫은가 봐

 

일꾼을 해고할까 봐

 

오드리는 바람피고 있고

 

내가 듣나 확인하는 거야?

 

아니, 너 모르는구나

 

이 여잔 너무 예뻐서
바람을 안 피울 리 없어

 

랜든 힉스란 남자가 옆집에 사는데

 

거친 산사람처럼 생겼어

 

수염에 머리도 길고 말도 안 해

 

아내가 랜든 힉스랑 바람난 거야!

 

좋은 것만 가질 순 없지

 

좋은 게 뭔데?

 

너 아직...

 

그래

 

아직도 너랑 해주고 있잖아

 

좋은 걸 받아들이면

 

그 덕에 나쁜 것도 참을 수 있어

 

넌 남자들이 바라는 건 다 가졌잖아

 

좋은 점을 봐
넌 내가 평생 못 가질 걸 가졌어

 

그런 소리 하지 마

 

브라이언, 넌 내 유일한 친구야

 

나 보러온다고 오드리가 화났어?

 

아니

 

그래

 

왜 그녀를 안 보겠다고 고집을 부리니?

 

마약 끊기 전엔 아무도 안 볼 거야

 

연방은행이 이자율을 올렸는데
지장 없어?

 

사람들이 계속 살 거야
재융자 바람이 잠들진 않아

 

잘됐군

 

네?

 

제리요?

 

글쎄, 누구쇼?

 

오드리 버크의 동생 닐요

 

문 좀 열래요?

 

네

 

네

 

뭐요?

 

브라이언이 죽었어요

 

살해됐어요

 

누가 죽였어요

 

무슨 소리요?

 

죽었다고요

 

장난하는 거요?

 

누가 아내를 때리고 있었는데
브라이언이...

 

뭐요?

 

브라이언이 죽었다고요

 

장례식이 오늘이에요

 

장례식에 모시려고 왔어요

 

거짓말 아니겠죠?

 

양복 있어요?

 

있어요

 

버크 가족을 대표해서

 

오늘 오신 분들께 감사드립니다

 

먼 길을 오신 분도 많죠

 

정말 감사드려요

 

곧 버크네에서 식사 대접이 있을 겁니다

 

괜찮아? 괜찮아

 

닭고기는 먹지, 하퍼?

 

닭도 동물이잖아요, 안 먹어요

 

언제부터?

 

- 육식은 잔인해요
- 고기 안 먹는대

 

- 아빠?
- 육식이 잔인하다고?

 

- 아빠?
- 맞는 말이야

 

- 아빠?
- 어디서 배웠니?

 

그냥 아는 것도 있다구요

 

- 그건 아니지
- 아빠!

 

지식이란 원래 배우는 거야

 

- 아빠!
- 그래?

 

- 난 고기 좋아요
- 알아

 

동생은 고기가 좋댄다

 

얘가 너보다 클 거야

 

브로콜리는 먹어요

 

- 그래
- 그렇지?

 

차에서 60달러 가져갔어?

 

아니

 

이상하네, 재떨이에
20달러짜리 3장 놔뒀는데

 

없어졌어

 

내가 안 가져갔어

 

그날 친구 태웠어?

 

걔가 안 가져갔어

 

- 누구?
- 가져갈 애가 아냐

 

누구? 누가 안 가져가?

 

- 정신 좀 차릴래?
- 아무도 아냐

 

정신차려!

 

- 정신차리라고!
- 좋아

 

- 엄마, 누구?
- 세상에

 

육식은 잔인해! 괴롭혀!

 

- 괴롭혀
- 맞잖아요

 

들어와

 

알아, 금방 가야 돼

 

그래

 

만나서 좋았어

 

내가 고마워하는 거 알지?

 

- 그...
- 정말이야

 

- 생일 축하한다
- 그래

 

좋아

 

- 만나서 반갑다
- 잘 지내

 

이거 가져가야지

 

뭐?

 

- 식료품
- 뭐?

 

이봐, 얼짱 소년

 

잘 시간이 훨씬 지났잖아

 

또 슬픈 영화 보고 있었어?

 

방금 광고를 봤어요

 

광고 땜에 우는 거야?

 

알래스카에서 아기 물개한테
무슨 짓을 하는지 알아?

 

참 귀여웠어요
돈 많이 기부하세요

 

웹사이트를 적어뒀어

 

- 기부를 많이 해야겠어
- 그래

 

하퍼, 가

 

가라구

 

- 잘자
- 안녕, 엄마

 

물개가 싫죠?

 

물개 싫어하는 사람이요

 

씻을게

 

그 사람 어땠어?

 

그 사람 어땠어?

 

엉망이지

 

엉망진창이야

 

집에 올 때까지 걔가 한 말이
무슨 뜻인지 몰랐어

 

연방은행이 이자율을 올린 게
지장이 없냐고 묻더군

 

제리한텐 아무 상관없는 얘기잖아

 

어딘가에서 보고 내 생각이 나서

 

기억을 해둔 거야

 

당신은 내가 가서 늘 돈을 주고

 

걘 받기만 한다고 생각하지만

 

걘 내 친구야

 

내 걱정을 한다고

 

걘 내 친구야

 

알았어

 

등이 어두워지게 하는 걸 안 달아놨군

 

그 사람들 해고하고
폴란드인을 써야겠어

 

내일 애들 데리고 하워드네에
수영하러 가

 

그래, 도리가 머리를 담그게 해야지

 

- 억지로 시키지마
- 밀어넣을 거야

 

잘 한다

 

제리한테 당신이
랜든 힉스랑 바람핀댔어

 

뭐라고?

 

- 랜든 힉스?
- 농담인 거 알아

 

- 왜 랜든 힉스야?
- 몰라

 

바람핀다면

 

절대 랜든 힉스는 아냐

 

왜?

 

말을 안 하잖아

 

그럼 누구랑?

 

생수 배달원

 

생수 배달원?

 

왜?

 

그냥

 

왜 생수 배달원이야?

 

카우보이 같잖아

 

생수 갖다주는 사람이

 

카우보이 같다고?

 

그럼

 

듣기 싫으면 묻질 말든지

 

어서, 해줘

 

자, 해

 

해줘

 

이리 와

 

바로 거기

 

필요한 거 없어?

 

아니, 고마워, 들어올래?

 

- 이인 수영 안 해요
- 그래

 

2십만 달러 들여 수영장을 만들고는
수영을 안 하다니

 

알았어, 그만해

 

다음엔 절이라도 짓지 그래요?

 

거 재밌군, 2시간 있다 올게

 

- 하나, 둘, 셋
둘
-...

 

- 왜 그래?
- 하기 싫어요

 

관심 끌려고 까다롭게 구는 거예요

 

프로이드 박사님, 고마워요

 

넌 가서 하수구 뚜껑이나 만져봐

 

자, 도리, 해봐

 

- 했잖아요!
- 안 했어

 

무서운 건 해봐야 돼

 

누구나 그래, 넌 남자잖아

 

6살이 다 됐어, 해보자

 

싫어요! 억지로 시키지 마요!

 

억지로 시킬 테다

 

농담이시겠지

 

- 농담하는 것 같아?
- 아냐?

 

그래, 농담이었어
엄마랑 놀아

 

- 그래
- 난 누나랑 수영할 거다

 

이리 와, 엄마랑 가자

 

아빠가 못살게 구는구나

 

헤이

 

호두 기름을 발랐는데 엉망이 됐어

 

아냐, 괜찮은데

 

늘 거짓말만 할 거야?

 

아님 내가 하는 건 다 좋아?

 

사실은 보기 싫어

 

- 고마워
- 응

 

증기를 쬐고 사포질을 하고 착색했어

 

그랬는데도 마무리는 한 번밖에 못 해

 

잘못하면 모든 게 엉망이 되는 거야

 

난 잘 몰라, 생수 배달하러 왔거든

 

아빠!

 

아이스크림 사주겠다고 약속했어

 

아빠!

 

나중에 계속하자구

 

알았어?

 

나중에

 

- 그대로 있어
- 알았어

 

헤이!

 

난 딸기랑 바닐라요

 

그래, 딸기와 바닐라?

 

네! 도리는 초콜릿, 딸기, 바닐라래요

 

딸기와 바닐라가 뭐냐?

 

엄만 레몬 먹는대요

 

- 레몬? 알았어
- 네

 

금방 다녀올게

 

- 바이!
- 바이

 

도리

 

주인 기다리는 강아지 같구나

 

아이스크림 어딨어?

 

- 잠깐만
- 엄마

 

이상하네, 안 받아

 

버크 부인이세요?

 

- 날 사랑하잖아
- 아냐

 

- 빌어먹을! 못된 년!
- 안 돼!

 

그놈이 아니라 날 사랑한다고!
알았어?

 

제길! 넌 거짓말했어!

 

다신 그런 말 하지 마, 알았어?

 

- 다신 그런 말 말라구!
- 이봐! 그만해!

 

- 내 마누라야!
- 그래도 그만둬!

 

다치게 하고 있잖아! 놔줘!

 

- 그놈이랑 끝났다며!
- 그만둬!

 

그만! 물러나!

 

- 하느님
- 심호흡하고 10을 세봐요

 

숨을 쉬고 있어요

 

10을 세요

 

- 하나, 둘, 셋, 넷...
- 됐어

 

네

 

사우스웨스트와 엘름 가 교차로에
구급차를 불러줘요

 

여기 여자가 몹시 맞았어요
가정 폭력...

 

안돼!

 

애가 둘이에요

 

10살짜리 딸과 6살짜리 아들요

 

걔들이 기다리고 있다고요

 

아빠가 아이스크림을 사올 거라고

 

정말 죄송합니다

 

무슨 일이에요?

 

제리?

 

아, 미안해요

 

이젠 여기 안 살아요

 

어디 있는지 아세요?

 

매킨리 클리닉으로 가보세요

 

매킨리 클리닉, 알았어요

 

- 안녕!
- 안녕

 

여기서 뭐 해요?

 

그냥 어떻게 지내나 하고요

 

반가워요

 

커피 줄까요? 물?

 

- 네
- 들어와요

 

여기선 메타돈으로 치료하나요?

 

네

 

- 메타돈 복용해요?
- 아뇨

 

여기 일을 해주는 대신
여기서 지내게 해줬어요

 

마지막으로 마약한 게 언제죠?

 

16일 전요

 

장례식 끝나고 끊으려고 했지만
또 하고 말았어요

 

애들은 어때요?

 

하퍼는 성적이 안 좋아요

 

도리는

 

악몽을 꿔요
아빠가 괴물로 나온대요

 

- 더 마실래요?
- 아뇨

 

갈래요

 

- 그만해, 하퍼!
- 가만있잖아

 

그만하라니까!

 

- 엄마!
- 하퍼! 그만해!

 

말썽 좀 그만부려!

 

앉아서 조용히 먹기만 하랬잖아

 

그것도 못 해? 웃지 마!

 

- 알았어요!
- 웃지 마!

 

엄마, 같이 자도 돼요?

 

그래, 들어와

 

여기 누워라

 

젠장

 

- 이봐요! 할 말이 있어요
- 안녕

 

차고에 불이 났었어요

 

다시 짓기 시작했는데

 

끝내질 못 했어요

 

그래서 지금은 그냥
화장실 딸린 공간이에요

 

여기 계속 있을 순 없잖아요

 

당신 미쳤군요

 

왜죠?

 

공짜니까요

 

동정은 필요없어요

 

동정이라뇨?
도움이 필요한 건 나예요

 

주택 융자금이 얼마나 많은지 알아요?

 

당신이 들어와서 자릴 잡고

 

취직해서 월세를 내요

 

브라이언이 왜 당신 얘길
한번도 안 했죠?

 

회복 중인 마약 중독자라서겠죠

 

난 마누라가 싫어요

 

속 얘기를 하자니 하는 말이요

 

마누라의 모든 게 싫어요

 

이걸 당신에게 준 걸 알면 난리날 거요

 

좋아요

 

- 안녕, 도리
- 안녕

 

도와줄래? 좋아

 

안녕, 도리

 

잘 잡았소?

 

- 거기요
- 잘 했어

 

응? 들어와

 

저녁 시간이에요

 

- 저녁?
- 네

 

엄마가 모시고 오래요

 

알았어

 

신을 신어야지

 

두 짝이야, 하나, 둘

 

자, 가자

 

- 와, 멋지다!
- 응

 

- 응, 참 웃겨
- 그래

 

- 안녕, 제리
- 안녕

 

들어와 앉아요

 

얘들아, 이분은 제리야

 

- 얜 에밀리
- 안녕, 에밀리

 

- 얜 사라
- 안녕, 사라

 

제리는 오랜 친구란다

 

같이 저녁 식사를 할 거야

 

누가 닭고기 먹을래?

 

- 저요!
- 그래?

 

- 닭고기요?
- 아뇨, 난 채식해요

 

그래요? 저도요

 

- 육식은 잔인해요
- 난 닭고기 좋아

 

지금 줄게, 여기 있어

 

난 캘리포니아 가봤어, 넌?

 

그래? 난 안 가봤어
하지만 정말 좋대

 

- 응
- 늘 가고 싶었어

 

여름엔 정말 더워

 

반팔, 반바지만 입었어
너무 더워서

 

- 멋지다
- 너무... 응

 

이봐요

 

제리!

 

네?

 

브라이언과...

 

아침마다 조깅을 했었어요

 

같이 뛸래요?

 

담배를 피고 있어서요

 

기다리죠

 

중학교 이후론 안 뛰어봤어요

 

뛸 수 있을 만큼만 뛰죠

 

길가까지라도 좋아요

 

그냥 뛰는 거예요

 

- 될 지 모르겠어요
- 천천히 가요

 

그만해요, 못 하겠어요

 

좋아요

 

우리가 뛰던 길이에요

 

그 뒤로 바꿔볼까도 생각했지만

 

이게 우리가 뛰던 길이에요

 

오드리는 아직 현실을 직시하지 못 해요

 

취직을 해야 할까요?

 

무슨 소리요?

 

브라이언은 유능한 택지 개발업자였죠

 

발상이 독특했어요
기존 건물의 재건축도 잘 하고

 

아무도 모르는 기회를 찾기도 하고

 

그 집 융자금은 예전에 다 갚았어요

 

오드리는 앞으로 돈 걱정 없어요

 

- 안녕
- 네

 

- 물 좀 줄래요?
- 네

 

고마워요

 

그래...

 

왜 날 데려온 거죠?

 

나도 몰라요

 

당신이 죽었어야죠

 

왜 당신이 안 죽었죠?

 

- 소닉팀은 엉망이야
- 아저씨가 엉망이에요

 

팀을 재정비하는 거예요

 

뭐요?

 

'재정비?'

 

- 넌 9살이야
- 10살이에요

 

아저씨한텐 언제든지 이길 수 있어요

 

그래? 해 봐

 

한번 더 던져 봐

 

체크

 

어서, 체크

 

영화 속에 있는 것 같은
기분 든 적 있어요?

 

영화 속에 있는 기분 든 적 있냐고?

 

아니

 

슬픈 영화요

 

괜찮아질 거야

 

약속할게

 

약속이야, 하이파이브 하자

 

좋아

 

훅슛을 해야지

 

훅슛 해봐

 

난...

 

당신이 날 도와줄 수 있을까 하고요

 

그럼요

 

자는 거요

 

- 난 자야겠어요
- 그럼요

 

신은 여기 놔두세요

 

문을 닫아요

 

알았어요

 

와요

 

- 좋아요
- 난 자야 해요

 

- 이게 될까
- 될 거예요

 

수면제보다 효과가 좋았어요

 

좋아요

 

이 무릎을 더 올려요, 됐어요

 

불을 꺼요

 

이제... 당신 손으로

 

귓불을 당겨요

 

아래로, 그렇게요

 

더 빨리, 세게 해요

 

네

 

- 이렇게요?
- 그렇게요

 

계속 해요

 

아직 안 자니까 계속 해야 해요

 

- 계속요
- 알았어요

 

계속

 

오늘은 나의 회복만을 생각하겠습니다

 

마약 없는 삶을 살겠습니다

 

오늘만은 마약중독자
치료 모임의 누군가가

 

날 믿고 내 회복을 돕고
싶어한다는 걸 믿습니다

 

오늘만은 이 모임을 통해

 

내 인생에 대해
희망을 가지도록 노력하겠습니다

 

오늘만은 두렵지 않을 겁니다

 

새로 알게 된 사람들과

 

마약을 하지 않는 사람들

 

새 인생을 찾은 사람들을
생각하겠습니다

 

이것을 계속하는 한
난 두려울 게 없습니다

 

얘기하실 분 있어요?

 

- 네
- 네?

 

내 이름은 제리고 중독자예요

 

- 안녕, 제리
- 안녕, 제리

 

끊은지 21일 됐어요

 

난 내 친구가 죽어서 여기 왔습니다

 

그는 마약을 안 했어요

 

초등 2학년 때부터 친구였죠

 

저를 포기하지 않은 유일한 친구였어요

 

아주 억울한 일로 용감하게 죽었습니다

 

너무 힘들었어요

 

정말이에요

 

- 제리?
- 네?

 

- 안녕
- 켈리

 

오늘 당신 얘기 좋았어요

 

칭찬 좋죠, 고마워요

 

- 21일 됐다고요?
- 네

 

- 몸이 아주 괴롭겠어요
- 맞아요

 

평온을 위한 기도 때까지 계셔야죠

 

- 뭐라고요?
- 지난 주에

 

평온을 위한 기도 전에 가셨는데
그건 무시하는 거예요

 

뭘 무시해요?

 

당신의 회복요

 

내 회복이 고맙대요

 

- 결혼했어요?
- 아뇨

 

자식 있어요?

 

애가 있냐고요? 둘요

 

6살짜리 아들하고 10살짜리 딸

 

가야겠어요

 

다음 주에 봐요

 

네

 

안전벨트 해요!

 

- 헤이
- 헤이

 

배고파요? 샌드위치 만들까요?

 

아니 됐어요, 컴퓨터 써도 돼요?

 

그럼요

 

하워드가 뭐 좀 찾아보래요

 

와요, 보여줄게요

 

저기 있어요

 

다 치워야 하는데...

 

신발이 멋지군요!

 

변호사가 어떻게
헤로인 중독자가 되죠?

 

- 진짜요?
- 네

 

코케인부터 시작해서
크리스탈 메스를 하게 되고

 

불안증이 오면서 헤로인을 하게 되고...

 

하지만 유능한 변호사였죠?

 

무슨 소용이 있어요? 이 꼴 봐요

 

나랑 일합시다

 

난 융자에 대해선 아무것도 몰라요

 

집이 뭔진 알죠?

 

면접 잘 했어요, 당신 취직 됐소

 

여깄어요

 

고마워요

 

- 여기가 거실이요
- 네

 

보다시피 도리스가 꾸미느라
돈을 쏟아부었죠

 

아내가 집이랑 전부 다 차지할 거예요

 

- 이혼하려고요?
- 네

 

하지만 두려워요

 

당신처럼 강하지가 않아요

 

나처럼요?

 

이 시험을 봐야 해요

 

와싱턴주 융자 중개인 시험인데

 

겁먹을 거 없어요
내가 가르쳐줄 테니까

 

- 정말요?
- 네

 

좋아요

 

"주택 융자"

 

세탁물 갖고 왔어요

 

- 여기
- 고마워요

 

보기 좋네요

 

여기 왔을 때보다 훨씬 좋아졌어요

 

고마워요, 39일 됐어요

 

헤로인은 어떤 거죠?

 

'하나님의 키스' 란 표현 들어봤어요?

 

처음엔 그래요

 

계속 그 기분을 좇는 거죠

 

그 첫 느낌을 계속 좇지만
다신 느끼지 못 해요

 

마약에 취하면 다 잊을 수는 잊지만

 

결코 처음 같지는 않아요

 

난 잊고 싶어요

 

네

 

다 잊는 게 어떤 건지 알고 싶어요

 

안 돼요

 

알고 싶어요

 

하루 종일 그 기분을 좇을 거예요

 

더 이상 못할 때까지요

 

- 안 돼요
- 아뇨, 할 거예요

 

안 돼요

 

당신은 너무 강해

 

너무 열심히 살고

 

미안해요

 

미안해요

 

네

 

미안해요

 

오...

 

놀자구, 바보야!

 

머리 젖게 하지 마요

 

- 머리 안 담글 거야?
- 네

 

턱은 담글 수 있어?

 

보여줘 봐

 

이 귀는?

 

- 다른 쪽 귀도?
- 네

 

머리 끝은?

 

봐, 머리를 담궜잖아

 

턱, 머리 끝, 양쪽 귀

 

그게 다야, 기분이 어때?

 

몰라요

 

머릴 담그고 나서 말해줘봐

 

벌써 했잖아

 

한번 해본 건 하기 쉬워

 

- 빨리 해볼래?
- 네

 

하나, 둘, 셋에?

 

하나, 둘, 셋!

 

- 안녕
- 안녕

 

별 일 없어요?

 

- 네, 저...
- 들어와요

 

앉아요

 

앉아요

 

당신이 오늘 한 일 때문에 참 슬펐어요

 

내가 어쨌는데요?

 

도리가 머리를 담그게 했잖아요

 

- 작은 속임수죠
- 6살이에요

 

하퍼는 3살 때 머리를 담궜죠

 

브라이언이 도리를 가르치려
계속 애썼지만

 

못 했어요

 

오늘 도리가 머리를 담근 걸

 

당신이 이뤄선 안 돼요

 

당신이 누려야 할 게 아니었다고요

 

당신을 보고 있자니 마치...

 

마치...

 

미안해요

 

"와싱턴 주"

 

"융자 중개인 면허 시험"

 

하퍼가 없어졌어요

 

교장이 방금 전화했어요

 

오늘도 학교에 안 왔고 어제도 없었대요

 

이틀 결석했지만
어젯밤엔 집에 있었어요

 

겁나요, 휴대폰을 받지 않아요

 

오늘 아침 스쿨 버스 타는 걸 봤어요

 

걔가 올지 모르니까 여기 있어요
난 학교에 가요

 

'...당신 없이요'

 

'난 죽는 게 두렵지 않아요'

 

'그건 당신이 알아서 할 일이야'

 

'내가 총에 대해
거짓말 했다고 생각하죠?'

 

하퍼!

 

당장 엄마한테 전화해서 괜찮다고 해

 

네, 거의 끝났어요

 

당장 전화하라니까!

 

어떻게 알았어요?

 

아빠가 얘기해줬어

 

저...

 

아저씨가 엄마랑 결혼하면
엄만 다시 행복해질 거예요

 

우린 가족이 되잖아요

 

그건 절대 안 돼

 

왜요?

 

그럼 내 친구가 마치
없었던 것처럼 되잖아

 

하지만...

 

계셨어요

 

그래서 안 되는군요

 

난 아빠만큼 좋은 아빠가 될 수도 없어

 

나 시험에 합격했어

 

- 정말요?
- 응

 

- 잘 했네요
- 고마워

 

엄마한테 얘기해

 

아저씨가 해요

 

매년 1주일간

 

파크 극장에서 매일
다른 흑백 영화를 상영해요

 

브라이언은 일도 쉬고
하퍼를 결석시키고

 

같이 땡땡이를 쳤죠

 

흑백 영화를 보려고요

 

거기서 이 꼬마 히치콕을 찾았어요

 

영화 얘긴 어떻게 알았어요?

 

브라이언이 말해줬어요

 

당신은 아는데 난 왜 몰랐죠?

 

몰라요

 

당신이 알면 못 하게 할까봐 그랬겠죠

 

애한테 화내지 말아요

 

애 잘못이 아니니까

 

왜 그래요?

 

안 되겠어요

 

쟤들은 내 자식이에요

 

아무도 나한테 이래라저래라 못 해요

 

알아요

 

짐 싸서 가줘요

 

가요

 

오드리

 

오드리

 

오드리

 

오드리

 

오드리, 서봐요

 

이건 아니잖아요

 

나 말고 하퍼와 도리에게요

 

이기적인 짓이요

 

뒈져요!

 

- 고마워요, 마이클
- 고마워요, 마이클

 

다음 사람?

 

켈리

 

내 이름은 켈리고 중독자예요

 

- 안녕, 켈리
- 안녕, 켈리

 

난 오늘 정말 기분이 나빠요

 

내가 일하는 요양소에
어떤 여자가 있어요

 

이름이 캐서린이고 96살이에요

 

늘 명랑하고 활기차고 낙천적이며

 

늘 활짝 웃고 있죠
최근에 암 진단을 받았어요

 

하지만 퍼지는 데 20년이 걸린대요

 

그래서 알리고 싶지 않았어요
그럴 필요가 있어요?

 

노환으로 죽지
암으로 죽을 건 아니니까요

 

그런데 얘길한 거예요!

 

그걸 알게 되자 침대에만 누워 있어요

 

자고 울기만 해요

 

얘길 해선 안 됐었어요

 

다시 올게요

 

- 고마워요, 켈리
- 고마워요, 켈리

 

다 같이 평온을 위한 기도를 합시다

 

주여, 제게 평온을 주소서
못 바꾸는 건 참는 인내를 주시고

 

바꿀 수 있는 건 바꾸는 용기와

 

그 둘을 분별하는 지혜를 주소서

 

그걸 팔아서 마약 살 거예요?

 

뭐?

 

그걸 팔아서 마약 살 거예요?

 

왜 안 자니?

 

악몽을 꿨어요

 

나도

 

훔치지 마요, 도로 놔요
나쁜 짓이에요

 

도로 갖다 놔요

 

도로 갖다 놔요

 

알았어

 

- 나빠요
- 알았어

 

알았다구

 

어떤 악몽이야?

 

일어나서

 

엄마 방에 갔는데

 

거기 엄마가 없었어요

 

아래층에 있나 보려고 내려왔죠

 

그리곤 깼어요

 

그래도 다행히 꿈이잖아

 

진짜가 아냐

 

엄만 내가 잠들 때까지 곁에 있어요

 

'난 매일 매 경기를
새로운 기회라고 생각한다'

 

제리! 같이 놀아요!

 

제리가 갔어요! 떠났어요!

 

또 마약할 거예요

 

마약 안 해, 왜 그런 생각을 하니?

 

나 때문이에요?

 

영화 보느라 학교에 안 가서요?

 

다신 안 그런다고 약속할게요!

 

제리를 돌아오게 해요!

 

너 때문이 아냐

 

돌아올 거야, 마약도 안 하고

 

어른이잖아

 

엄말 믿어, 자, 공 줘봐

 

제리가 지금 죽을 거예요?

 

마약을 끊은 지 2년째를 축하해요

 

고마워요

 

내 이름은 프랜시스고 중독자예요

 

안녕, 프랜시스

 

여길 2년째 다니면서

 

할 수 있다는 걸 믿게 됐어요

 

엄만 내가 5살때 이 곰을 줬어요

 

내 딸이 5살 때 이 곰을 물려줄 거예요

 

당신은 해낼 거예요

 

고마워요

 

제리?

 

'누구세요?'

 

누구시죠?

 

전 켈리예요

 

제리가 사는 덴가요?

 

- 네
- '거기 있어요?'

 

중독자 치료 모임에 안 와서요

 

프랜의 생일이었는데

 

그가 안 올 리가 없어요

 

'그게 무슨 뜻이죠?'

 

'다시 마약에 손댄 거예요'

 

'그가 있을 만한 데를 알아요?'

 

'갈 데가 못 돼요'

 

여, 아가씨!

 

제리?

 

제리?

 

제리! 제리! 오드리예요

 

- 안녕, 오드리
- 오드리예요, 일어나요

 

집에 가요, 어서! 일어나요!

 

자

 

자

 

남아있는 거 봤어요?

 

닥쳐요, 제리

 

지금 뭘 먹으면

 

기분이 나아지겠어요?

 

초컬릿

 

초컬릿

 

가요, 제리

 

엉망이야

 

- 다 엉망이라구
- 앉아요

 

제리?

 

또 뭐가 필요하죠?

 

아이스크림 먹고 싶어요

 

아이스크림 갖다 줄게요

 

닐이랑 같이 있어요, 알았죠?

 

알았죠?

 

- 안녕, 닐
- 안녕, 제리

 

당분간 같이 있자구요

 

당분간 같이 있자구요

 

난 괜찮지만...

 

제리?

 

이봐요! 제리!

 

너무 잤어

 

좀 씻어야겠어요

 

그 옷도 벗고

 

싫다, 싫어

 

영차, 마약 더 있어요?

 

아니

 

주사바늘은?

 

좋아요, 벗어요

 

이건 여기다...

 

이봐요!

 

방금 왔잖아요, 앉아요

 

누구랑 같이 있어요?

 

내 동생요, 얘기해 줘서 고마워요

 

애인이에요?

 

아뇨

 

그는

 

남편의 제일 친한 친구였어요

 

총에 맞은 분요?

 

그분을 정말 사랑했나요?

 

저도 제일 사랑하는 이를 잃었어요

 

약물 과다로요

 

하지만 덕분에 전 끊었어요

 

마약복용자가 1명 죽을 때마다

 

그걸 보고 끊는 사람도 1명씩 생긴대요

 

끊은 지 얼마 됐어요?

 

2,653일요

 

갈수록 나아지나요?

 

달라져요

 

이젠 새로운 인생이니까

 

새로운 사랑을 찾을 거예요

 

난 중독은 몰라요

 

날 도와줄래요?

 

이봐요! 괜찮아요!

 

이봐요

 

진정해요

 

진정해

 

진정해

 

숨을 쉬어요, 숨을 쉬어

 

나예요, 괜찮아요
숨을 쉬어봐요

 

여기 있어요

 

괜찮아요

 

자, 천천히

 

정말 아파요

 

지금 제산제를 먹이세요

 

차를 마시면 구토를 막을 수 있어요

 

항히스타민제는 밤에만 주세요

 

- 네, 안 돼, 제리 거야
- 알았어요

 

맛을 볼래?

 

언제 볼 수 있어요?

 

금방, 약속할게

 

됐어요, 바로 이거

 

이거 먹어요, 도움이 될 거야

 

좋아요, 삼켜요

 

물 좀 먹고, 좋아요

 

추워!

 

아빠처럼 죽을 거예요?

 

그래

 

언제요?

 

되도록 빠르면 좋겠다

 

농담이죠?

 

쿠키하고 물 가져왔어요

 

씨 스리피오와 알투디투구나

 

네

 

스리피오는 좀 밥맛이었어

 

네

 

난 알투디투가 더 좋아

 

실례

 

걔가 더 친근해

 

여기요

 

여기! 도로 줘

 

제리

 

- 오드리
- 준비됐어?

 

들어와요

 

담배 좀 피고

 

괜찮아, 안에서 펴요

 

알았어요

 

그래서 돈 안 내지?

 

그러니까 한 마디로...

 

- 안녕, 다이앤
- 안녕!

 

안녕

 

- 어때요?
- 나아졌어요

 

나아보여요

 

고마워요

 

말도 안 돼

 

뭐가요?

 

알투디투가 더 친근하다고요?

 

환각이 아니었군요

 

아뇨, 내 아들이었어요

 

참 귀여웠어요, 쿠키와 물을 갖다주고

 

잠깐 실례

 

도리! 엄마가 뭐랬지?

 

엄마가 뭐랬어?

 

저녁 먹을래요?

 

좀 먹어야죠
안 토할 지도 몰라요

 

먹어보죠

 

쟤 도는 것 좀 봐요

 

브라이언도 같은 짓을 했었어요

 

농구든 축구든 경기마다

 

알아요

 

웃기고 장난치던 게

 

그리워요

 

다시 행복해질 수 있을까요?

 

내가 예쁘다고 느낄 날이 올까요?

 

당신은 예뻐요

 

아니, 내면말예요

 

내가 본 여자 중에 제일 예뻐요

 

- 헤이
- 헤이

 

여긴 웬 일이에요?

 

내가 초대했어요

 

- 하워드?
- 응?

 

내일 수영해도 돼요?

 

미안한데 나 이젠 거기 안 살아

 

왜요?

 

내 전처가 될 사람이 거기 살 거거든

 

다른 데서 수영하면 돼, 알았지?

 

남편분이 어떤 음악을 좋아했나요?

 

고전 음악 좋아했어요?

 

네

 

저녁 후에는 뭘 마셨죠?

 

커피? 이태리 와인? 아무것도?

 

초컬릿 밀크를 좋아했어요

 

- 어떤 치약을 썼어요?
- 크레스트요

 

크레스트를 썼죠

 

나한테도 물어봐요

 

아빠가 좋아하던 영화는?

 

생각 안 나요

 

'미트 페어런츠 2' 에 나온 배우가
나오는 지겨운 옛날 영화를 좋아했어요

 

'대부 2편' 이야

 

- 1편이에요
- 네

 

아니, 2편을 좋아했어요

 

아빠가 다람쥐를 쐈어요

 

- 그랬어?
- 네

 

죽였죠, 아빠가 많이 울었어요

 

9살이었대요

 

- 불이 났었어요
- 그랬어?

 

네

 

어쩌다가?

 

누전이었어요

 

- 차고문 작동기가 잘못 돼서
- 맞아요

 

- 네
- 아빤 괜찮았는데 엄만 속상했어요

 

그래

 

아기 옷이며 사진첩이며
많은 걸 잃었어요

 

내 자전거도요

 

자전거, 중요한 서류, 다...

 

많은 걸 잃었어요, 그래서 내가...

 

어쩜 당신은 그렇게 침착하냐고 물었죠

 

그랬더니 '물건일 뿐이잖아'

 

'물건들일 뿐이야'

 

'우리에겐 서로가 있잖아'

 

안녕

 

괜찮아요?

 

이거 목록이에요

 

우리가 화재로 잃은 걸 다 적은...

 

그 사람은 없어요

 

없어요

 

제리! 왜죠? 왜?

 

괜찮아요, 괜찮아요

 

괜찮아질 거야

 

오드리?

 

여깄어요, 도리 방에

 

하퍼가 그러는데 보자고 했다면서요

 

와서 앉아요

 

켈리랑 얘기했는데

 

그녀가...

 

있잖아요

 

이 재활원이 정말 좋았대요

 

그래서...

 

당신이 가야 하지 않나 하고...

 

오드리, 벌써 당신에게
많은 신세를 졌어요

 

돈 때문이라면

 

나 화낼 거예요

 

하지만 딴 핑계라면

 

맘엔 안 들겠지만

 

이해할 게요

 

브라이언은 애들한테
늘 이런 말을 했어요

 

'좋은 건 받아들여'

 

좋은 건 받아들여요

 

야광이에요?

 

네, 형광색이에요

 

알았어요

 

가죠, 하지만 조건이 있어요

 

거길 나오면 취직을 해서

 

빚을 다 갚을 테니 받아줘요

 

약속하죠?

 

안녕, 하퍼

 

제리, 할래요?

 

- 얘기 좀 할까?
- 네

 

들어봐

 

난 곧 떠날 거야
병원 같은 데 갈 거야

 

- 얼마나 오래요?
- 몰라

 

하지만 나올 땐 집도 있고
네가 놀러와도 돼

 

여기서 안 살 거예요?

 

응

 

표정이 왜 그래?

 

그렇게 하기로 했잖아

 

와서 아빠 노릇 하다가
떠나는 건 싫어요!

 

하퍼, 난 아빠 노릇 한 적 없어

 

누나 어딨니?

 

방문을 잠갔어요, 화났어요

 

- 왜? 너 때문에?
- 아뇨, 아저씨요

 

나 땜에 화났구나

 

아무도 만나기 싫대요

 

손 조심해, 가봐

 

제리!

 

제리

 

못 볼 줄 알았소

 

- 잘 생각했어요
- 고마워요

 

아내랑 합치기로 했어요

 

너무 외로워서요

 

알았어요

 

하워드?

 

고맙소

 

하퍼?

 

작별 인사 하러 왔어, 이 편지 볼래?

 

사랑한다

 

헤이

 

낫고 나면 친구가 돼 줄래요?

 

영원한 친구가 돼주지

 

아빠 친구였던 것처럼요?

 

그럼

 

진짜 뽀뽀해줘

 

좋아

 

기다려요!

 

기다려요!

 

기다려요! 제리!

 

헤이!

 

"우리 마음에 영원히"

 

내 이름은 제리고 중독자예요

 

- 안녕, 제리
- 안녕, 제리

 

끊은 지 89일째예요

 

생각이 뚜렷해지고

 

나아지는 것 같아요

 

매일 조금씩요

 

내가 자주 꾸는 꿈 얘기를 할게요

 

내가 은식기를 훔치는 걸로 시작되죠

 

그리곤 어떤 남자한테 팔아요

 

출장 요리업를 하던 사람이죠

 

그 돈을 갖고 마약을 사던 곳에 가요

 

그런데 사람이 없어요

 

그래서 다른 데로 가보지만

 

거기도 아무도 없어요

 

시애틀 어디에도 마약이 없어요

 

난 겁이 나고

 

당황하게 되죠

 

그래서 뛰기 시작해요

 

비가 오고 날은 어두워져요

 

그리곤 낡은 내 아파트에서
숨겨놨던 게 있나 하고

 

샅샅이 뒤지고 있어요

 

그리곤 발작을 해요

 

그때 가방에 숨겨놨던 봉지를 찾아요

 

"좋은 건 받아들여요"

 

그렇게 난

 

한 손엔 마약 봉지를 들고

 

또 한 손엔 다음 마약을 살 돈을 들고

 

완전히 평안함을 느껴요

 

그리곤 잠에서 깨요

 

오늘 하루만 생각합니다

 

오늘 하루만

 

오늘 하루만

 

오늘 하루만

 

고마워요

 

-Dad?
-Yeah?

 

The water's green.

 

No, it's fluorescent.

 

-What's...
-Fluorescent.

 

Fluorescent means,
"lit from within."

 

So am I fluorescent?

 

Yeah, Dory, you are.

 

It's okay, honey.

 

Why has Grandma
been sleeping all day?

 

Well, she's sedated, sweetie.

 

I don't know
what that word means, Mom.

 

It means that she's been taking pills
so she can sleep.

 

She lost her son, Harper.

 

There's nothing more painful
in the whole wide world.

 

More than losing your dad?

 

Different.

 

Different.

 

-Cousin Laura's coming.
-Really? Why?

 

I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years.

 

That's Brian's computer.

 

I can't go in there,
so can you...

 

Okay. Okay. It's okay.
I got it.

 

Who is "Snakes290"?

 

Oh, God.

 

He's an old college friend of Brian's
that now lives in Michigan.

 

What does it say?

 

He said, "What do you think of
the Sonics' new power forward?"

 

Well, what did he think of them?

 

He thought he was a good rebounder,

 

but his outside jumper
needed some work.

 

Then write that.

 

All right.
I can do that.

 

Shit!

 

-What? What? What?
-Shit!

 

What's wrong, Audrey?

 

-I forgot to tell somebody.
-Who?

 

Neal, can you take me down to Renton?

 

-Renton? You can't call?
-No, he doesn't have a phone.

 

Who doesn't have a phone, sweetie?

 

-Can you take me?
-No, honey! Come on, now!

 

Okay, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay. It's all right. It's all right.

 

I can go.

 

Look, right around here from...

 

There's his address book,
and look up a Jerry Sunborne.

 

Who's Jerry Sunborne, darling?

 

Who the hell is Jerry Sunborne?

 

You want something to eat?

 

No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

 

I just couldn't...

 

-Do you have another one of those?
-Yeah.

 

Thank you.

 

I'm Howard Glassman.

 

I'm Jerry.

 

How did you know Brian?

 

We grew up together.

 

I just live down the street
and financed some of his deals...

 

-Oh, no.
-I'm sorry.

 

Well, I'm...

 

My wife.

 

It's nice to meet you, Jerry.

 

So you started smoking again?

 

Come on!
Get out of the way!

 

All right!
I bet you I could jump over it!

 

I'm gonna jump over it!

 

You don't know?

 

I guess your brain's
growing up too small.

 

-Hey.
-Hello. Hi.

 

Hi. I'm David.

 

My name is Jerry.
You're Harper.

 

-Yeah.
-Hi.

 

-Hi.
-Dory.

 

Your dad was my best friend.

 

When?

 

When I was your age,
and last week.

 

Strawberry Fields Forever
is your favorite song.

 

And Dory's got that scar on his nose

 

'cause he was running and he thought
the screen door was open.

 

But it was closed.

 

Everybody knows that, Dory.

 

You don't like mimes.
They scare you.

 

They don't talk.

 

Yeah, that's what they do.

 

Your suit is a little big.

 

Thank you.

 

That was imprudent of you.

 

I bet you can't do this.

 

Fast.

 

-Hi.
-Hey, Jerry.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

Thanks for coming.

 

I'm really glad you came.

 

I wasn't so sure
you would actually come,

 

-so, thank you.
-No problem.

 

I hated you.

 

I hated you for so many years, Jerry.

 

It's all right.

 

And now, it just all seems so silly.

 

He was so loyal to a fault, you know.

 

Most people would've given up on you.
Hell, I would've.

 

But he didn't.

 

I know.

 

I'm gonna go.

 

No, l... Wait.

 

I need you to stay.

 

Please, can you just stay for a little bit?

 

-Sure.
-Just a little bit?

 

Sure. Sure.

 

Good.

 

So Brian is maybe six years old,

 

and we're the Andersons' guests
at Flathead Country Club,

 

and we're swimming in the pool,

 

and all of the sudden,
Brian gets out of the water

 

and he pulls his bathing suit down
and he takes a piss right in the pool.

 

And people are just freaking out.

 

June Anderson is freaking out.

 

People are going,
"What are you doing?"

 

I mean, he's peeing right in the pool
like it's a urinal, so...

 

Wow.

 

And when it was over I say,
"Brian, why did you do that?"

 

You know, I mean,
he wasn't a bad kid.

 

He never acted out.
He's quiet, you know.

 

And I said...
Okay, I'm totally messing this story up!

 

I said,
"Why'd you..." Shut up!

 

I said,
"Why did you do that?"

 

And he came back with something
that made no sense.

 

Shit. I forget what he said.
It was so funny. Shoot.

 

He said he didn't want
to get his bathing suit wet.

 

Yes! That was it!

 

"l didn't want...
I didn't want to get my bathing suit wet!"

 

That's okay!

 

He was a little retarded as a kid,
you know.

 

No, I'm sorry, but he was. He was...
He was slow, you know.

 

And, you know,
he came around eventually.

 

We home?

 

Don't let them grow up.

 

How about I make us some pasta?
Open the wine.

 

That way our vacation won't have to end
till tomorrow.

 

When I get back.

 

-No. No, Brian...
-I have to.

 

-Why?
-It's his birthday.

 

So?

 

Audrey, you didn't know him
when he was a kid. He was special.

 

Every time you leave here, Brian,

 

I'm scared to death
you're not gonna come back.

 

Oh, Jesus,
just stop being so damn dramatic.

 

You stop being so damn naive.

 

Audrey, it's his birthday.

 

Who the hell knows
how many more he's gonna have?

 

Mom?

 

-Hey, Jay.
-Hey.

 

Happy Birthday!

 

-August 3rd.
-August 3rd.

 

Yeah.

 

-You're an old man.
-Yeah.

 

Come on in.
Come on in.

 

-She okay?
-Yeah, she's fine. Have a seat.

 

I'm hungry.
You want to get something to eat?

 

-Yeah. Cool.
-Yeah? Let's go out.

 

-They got coffee, strawberry...
-No coffee. Strawberry.

 

-Strawberry?
-Yeah.

 

-Will you try and find some soup?
-Okay.

 

So they're not happy with the work,
you know?

 

I think I'm gonna fire the workers.

 

And Audrey's fucking someone else.

 

Are you checking to see if I'm listening?

 

No, man. You don't understand.

 

This woman looks so good there is
no way that she is only fucking me.

 

Our neighbor's this guy
named Landon Hicks.

 

He's this rugged,
mountain-man type guy.

 

Big beard. Big hair.
Doesn't even talk.

 

She's in love with Landon Hicks!

 

Well, you gotta take
the good with the bad.

 

What's the good?

 

Are you still...

 

Yes, I am.

 

I mean, you're still in the rotation,
you know what I'm saying?

 

You know,
you gotta accept the good, man,

 

'cause they're gonna
make you accept the bad.

 

You have everything
any man would want.

 

Accept the good, Bri.
You have what I'll never have.

 

Oh, come on, don't talk
like that about yourself, all right?

 

Brian, you're my only real friend
left in the world, you know that?

 

Audrey angry
you came to see me tonight?

 

No.

 

Yes.

 

I don't know why you're so dead set
against seeing her again.

 

Well, I don't want to see anybody
until I'm clean. That's why.

 

So, the Fed raised rates.
Is that gonna affect you?

 

No, people will still buy.
This refi boom's got good legs.

 

Good.

 

Yeah?

 

Jerry?

 

Maybe. Who is it?

 

I'm Audrey Burke's brother, Neal.

 

Can you open the door, please?

 

Yeah.

 

Yeah.

 

Yeah?

 

Brian is dead.

 

He was killed.

 

Somebody killed him,
and he's dead.

 

What the fuck are you talking about?

 

He's dead.

 

Are you fucking with me?

 

Some guy was beating up on his wife
and Brian...

 

What?

 

Brian's dead.

 

The funeral is today.

 

I'm here to take you to the funeral.

 

You better not be fucking with me, man.

 

Do you have a suit?

 

Yeah, I got a suit.

 

At this time,
on behalf of the Burke family,

 

I'd like to thank those of you who have
been able to spend this time with us.

 

Many of you
have traveled a long distance,

 

and it is much appreciated.

 

In a few moments, we'll be going
to the Burke residence for the reception.

 

Okay? Okay.

 

Hey, what about chicken, Harper?
You can eat chicken, can't you?

 

Chickens are animals, Dad.
I don't eat animals.

 

Since when?

 

-Since meat is murder.
-No more meat, honey.

 

-Dad?
-Meat is murder.

 

-Dad?
-Basically.

 

-Daddy?
-Where did you learn this?

 

I know things.
Not everything I know was learned.

 

-Well, actually, that's not true.
-Dad!

 

The nature of knowledge
is that you learned it somewhere.

 

-Dad!
-Yes?

 

-I like meat.
-I know you do.

 

He likes meat, Harper.

 

And he's gonna get bigger than you.

 

She does eat broccoli.

 

-I see.
-Don't you, baby?

 

Did you take 60 bucks
out of the car, babe?

 

No.

 

That's funny, 'cause I had
three $20s in the ashtray,

 

and now they're gone.

 

No. I didn't take it.

 

Was your friend in the car
the other night?

 

He didn't take it.

 

-Who?
-He wouldn't take it.

 

Who?
Who wouldn't take it?

 

-Would you wake up, Brian?
-Nobody.

 

Wake up!

 

-Wake up!
-All right.

 

-Mom, who?
-Jesus.

 

Meat is so murder!
Get her! Get her!

 

-Get her.
-Well, it is.

 

Yeah, come in.

 

Yeah, I know.
I can't stay. I gotta take off.

 

Oh, okay.

 

Well, it was very nice
hanging out with you.

 

You know I appreciate it
more than you know, man.

 

-Well...
-Really.

 

-Happy birthday, man.
-Okay.

 

All right.

 

-It's good to see you.
-Take care.

 

Hey, don't forget the...

 

Don't forget what?

 

-Groceries.
-What?

 

Hey, pretty boy.

 

It's way past her bedtime.

 

Oh, no, you're not watching
that Lifetime movie again, are you?

 

It's this commercial we just saw.

 

You're crying over a commercial?

 

Do you have any idea what they're doing
to baby seals in Alaska, honey?

 

They were so cute, Dad.
Please, give them a lot of money.

 

I wrote down the Web site.

 

-We need to make a really big donation.
-Okay. Okay, good.

 

Harper, out.

 

Out.

 

-Good night, honey.
-Good night, Mom.

 

Seal hater.

 

Seal hater.
Nice to meet you.

 

I'm gonna go wash up.

 

So how was he?

 

So how was he?

 

He's all fucked up, Audrey.

 

All fucked up.

 

You know, he said this thing to me,
didn't strike me until I was driving home.

 

He asked me if the Feds raising
the rates would affect my business.

 

Now, that has no relevance for Jerry
in his world, right?

 

He would have read it somewhere
and just remembered it

 

because he knew
it had relevance for me, you see?

 

And I know that you think I just go there

 

and I give, and I give, and he just takes,

 

but, you know, he's my friend.

 

He looks out for me, you understand?

 

He's my friend.

 

Okay.

 

You know, they forgot to put
the dimmers on the lights.

 

I am gonna fire those guys,
and I'm gonna go with the Polish guys.

 

You're taking the kids swimming
at Howard's tomorrow.

 

All right.
Dory's putting his head under.

 

-Go easy on him, baby.
-Even if I have to push it.

 

Well, that's nice.

 

I told Jerry
you were fucking Landon Hicks.

 

You what?

 

-Landon Hicks?
-He knows I was joking.

 

-Why would I be fucking Landon Hicks?
-I don't know.

 

If I was gonna sleep with somebody

 

it sure as hell
wouldn't be Landon Hicks.

 

No? Why not?

 

Because he doesn't speak. That's why.

 

Who would it be?

 

The water guy.

 

The water guy?

 

Why?

 

Because.

 

Why the water guy?

 

'Cause he reminds me of a cowboy.

 

The guy that brings
the Arrowhead water

 

reminds you of a cowboy.

 

Oh, yeah.

 

Shouldn't have asked
if you didn't want to know.

 

Come on. Do it.

 

Okay, do it.

 

Please do it.

 

Come here.

 

That's it.

 

You guys need anything?

 

No, thanks, Howard.
You gonna come in?

 

-He doesn't swim.
-Okay.

 

Who spends $200,000
on a swimming pool and doesn't swim?

 

All right, Doris, that's enough.

 

Maybe next time,
you'll try building a mosque.

 

That's funny.
We'll be back in a couple of hours.

 

-One, two, three.
-Two...

 

-What happened?
-I don't feel like it.

 

He's just being difficult
for the attention, Dad.

 

Thank you, Dr. Freud.

 

Why don't you go touch the drain
or something?

 

Now, look, Dory, just try.

 

-I already did!
-No, you didn't.

 

Now, look,
you got to face your fears.

 

Everybody has to in life, okay?
Now, you're a man.

 

You're almost six years old.
It's time. Now, let's do it.

 

I don't have to!
You can't make me!

 

No, I can make you.

 

Baby!
You're kidding.

 

-Am I kidding?
-Aren't you?

 

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were kidding, right?
Why don't you go to Mommy?

 

-Yeah.
-I'll go swim with your sister.

 

Come on, baby.
Come with Mommy.

 

'Cause your daddy
is a very abusive man.

 

Hey.

 

I put walnut stain on this thing.
Totally fucked it up.

 

No, you didn't,
I think it looks good.

 

You think I'm ever gonna get
an honest answer out of you,

 

or are you just gonna
love every single thing I do?

 

It's... You know,
I think it's ugly.

 

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

 

I steam it. I sand it.
I stain it.

 

And after all of that,
I only got one chance at the finish.

 

And if I screw that up,
then the whole thing is messed up.

 

Well, what do I know?
'Cause I'm just here to deliver the water.

 

Dad!

 

I promised them Cold Stone.

 

Dad!

 

To be continued.

 

Okay?

 

To be continued.

 

-Don't move, all right?
-I won't.

 

Hey, hey!

 

Daddy, I want strawberry and vanilla.

 

Okay. Strawberry and vanilla?

 

Yeah! And Dory wants chocolate,
strawberry and vanilla.

 

What do you mean
strawberry and vanilla?

 

And Mom wants lemon.

 

-Lemon? All right.
-Yeah.

 

I'll be back in a little while.

 

-Bye!
-Bye.

 

Dory.

 

You look like a little puppy
waiting for its owner.

 

Where's my ice cream?

 

-Excuse me.
-Mom.

 

That's funny.
He's not answering.

 

Are you Mrs. Brian Burke?

 

-You love me. You love me.
-No.

 

-Damn it! You bitch!
-No!

 

You don't love him, you love me!
Do you hear me?

 

Fuck! And you lied to me!

 

Don't you ever say that to me again,
do you hear me?

 

-Don't you ever say that to me!
-Hey! Stop! Stop that!

 

-That's my wife! That's my wife!
-Stop! I don't care.

 

You're hurting her!
Just leave her alone!

 

-You told me you were over him!
-Stop!

 

Stop! Back off!

 

-God.
-Just breathe and count to 10.

 

I'm breathing, man, all right?

 

Count to 10 for me.

 

-One, two, three, four...
-Yeah, all right, man.

 

Yes, hi.

 

I need an ambulance
to Southwest Vista and Elm.

 

I got a woman here. She's beaten.
She's badly beaten. It's domestic and...

 

No!

 

I've got two kids.

 

I've got a 10-year-old girl
and a six-year-old little boy.

 

And they're in there waiting

 

for their daddy to come home
with ice cream.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

What's going on?

 

Jerry?

 

Oh, I'm sorry.

 

He doesn't live here anymore.

 

Okay, can you tell me
where I can find him?

 

Try the McKinley Clinic.

 

Okay, the McKinley Clinic. Okay.

 

-Hey!
-Hi.

 

What are you doing here?

 

I don't know.
I just wanted to see how you were.

 

Good to see you.

 

Want some coffee? Water?

 

-Yeah.
-Come on.

 

So this is a methadone clinic?

 

Yeah.

 

-You take methadone?
-Not me.

 

I just help around the clinic
and they give me a place to stay.

 

When was the last time you used?

 

Sixteen days ago.

 

I tried to quit after the funeral,
but I relapsed.

 

So how are the kids?

 

Harper's messing up in school.

 

And Dory is

 

having nightmares
where his daddy is the monster.

 

-Would you like some more?
-No.

 

I'm gonna shove off.

 

-Stop it, Harper!
-I'm not doing anything.

 

Stop it, Harper!

 

-Mom!
-Harper! Stop it!

 

You two are acting like little brats!

 

All I asked you to do this morning
was to sit here and eat quietly.

 

But you can't even seem to do that,
can you? Don't laugh, Dory!

 

-Okay!
-It's not funny!

 

Mom?
Can I sleep with you?

 

Yeah, honey.
Come on.

 

Right here.
There we go.

 

Oh, shit.

 

-Hey! Okay, look, here's the deal.
-Hi.

 

We had a fire in our garage.

 

The good news,
we started to rebuild it.

 

The bad news,
never finished it.

 

So, right now, all it is,
is a room with a bathroom.

 

You can't stay here, Jerry.

 

You're nuts.

 

Why?

 

Because it's free.

 

I don't need your charity, Audrey.

 

Who's offering you charity?
I'm the one that needs the help here.

 

Really, you know
how high my mortgage is?

 

You can move in,
get yourself situated,

 

and, eventually, you can get a job
and you can pay me rent.

 

So how come
Brian never mentioned you?

 

'Cause I'm a recovering heroin addict,
maybe?

 

I hate my wife.

 

I mean, since we're sharing.

 

I hate everything about her.

 

And she is gonna be furious when
she finds out I gave this shit to you.

 

Okay.

 

-Hey, Dory.
-Hi.

 

You gonna give us a hand? Okay, cool.

 

Hey, Dory.

 

You got it?

 

-There we go.
-Good job, good job. Good job.

 

Yeah? Come in.

 

It's dinnertime.

 

-Dinnertime?
-Yeah.

 

My mom wanted me to come over
and get you.

 

Okay.

 

I need to put on my soles.

 

I got two soles, one and two.

 

Okay, let's do it.

 

-Come on, that would be so cool!
-Yeah.

 

-Yeah, that is so funny.
-Yeah.

 

-Hey, Jerry.
-How you doing?

 

Come on in.
Have a seat.

 

Girls? Girls,
this is Jerry.

 

-Jerry, this is Emily.
-Hi, Emily.

 

-And this is Sarah.
-Hi, Sarah.

 

And Jerry is a really good friend
of our family

 

who's gonna have dinner
with us tonight, okay?

 

So, who wants chicken?

 

-Oh, me!
-Yeah?

 

-Chicken. Jerry?
-No, I'm a vegetarian.

 

You are? So am l.

 

-Meat is murder.
-I want chicken.

 

I'm gonna give it to you right now,
darling. There you go, one for you.

 

So, I've been to California. Have you?

 

Really? I haven't been to California,
but I hear it's really, really cool.

 

-Yeah.
-I've always wanted to go there.

 

It's really hot in the summer.

 

Like, I was there in short-sleeve shirts
and shorts all the time. It was so hot.

 

-That is so cool.
-And it was so... Yeah.

 

Hey.

 

Hey, Jerry!

 

Yeah?

 

I used to run with Brian every...

 

I used to run with Brian every morning.

 

So you want to go for a run?

 

I mean, I'm smoking, Howard.

 

I'll wait.

 

Howard, I haven't ran
since junior high school.

 

We'll just, you know,
go for however long.

 

You know,
down to the driveway, whatever.

 

We'll just go, you know?

 

-I don't know if I can do it.
-We'll just go slow.

 

That's it. That's it.
Can't do it.

 

Okay.

 

This was our route.

 

Thought about changing it afterward,

 

but this is our route.

 

Audrey, I don't think
she's facing reality, man.

 

Is she gonna have to get a job?

 

Who told you that?

 

No. Brian was a great developer.

 

He really thought outside the box,
you know? Great at rehabbing space.

 

Found opportunities
where nobody else could. Was just...

 

Their house? Paid off long ago.

 

No, Audrey'll never have to worry
about money.

 

-Morning.
-Hey.

 

-Can I have some water?
-Yeah.

 

Thank you.

 

So...

 

Why am I here?

 

I don't really know.

 

You know, it should've been you, Jerry.

 

Why wasn't it you?

 

-Sonics suck.
-You suck.

 

It's a rebuilding year.

 

What?

 

"Rebuilding year?"

 

-You're nine.
-Ten.

 

And I'd take you down
on the court anytime.

 

Oh, yeah? Go ahead.

 

One more time, one more time,
one more time. Shoot it. Shoot it.

 

Check.

 

Come on, check.

 

Do you ever feel
like you're inside of a movie?

 

Do I ever feel like I'm inside a movie?

 

No.

 

It's a sad movie.

 

You know, it'll change, Harp.

 

I promise.

 

Promise. Give me a high-five.

 

Okay.

 

The hook, the hook!
You gotta do the hook.

 

Do the hook.
Do the hook.

 

And I'm...

 

I'm wondering if maybe you might
be able to help me do something.

 

Sure.

 

Sleep.

 

-I need to sleep.
-Sure.

 

Okay, leave your shoes out here.

 

And shut the door.

 

Okay.

 

Come on.

 

-Okay.
-I need to sleep.

 

-I don't know about this.
-No, trust me.

 

This used to work better than Ambien.

 

Okay.

 

Bring this knee up, like that. Higher.
Yeah, that's it.

 

Turn off the light.

 

Okay, now...
Now take your hand

 

and pull down on the earlobe.

 

Just pull down.
Yeah, just like that.

 

Yeah, but do it faster. Harder.

 

Yeah.

 

-Like that?
-That's it.

 

Just keep doing that.

 

I'm still awake.
You gotta keep going.

 

-Keep going, keep going.
-Okay, okay, okay.

 

Keep going.

 

Just for today,
my thoughts will be on my recovery.

 

Living and enjoying life
without the use of drugs.

 

Just for today,
I will have faith in someone in N.A.

 

who believes in me
and wants to help me in my recovery.

 

Just for today,
through N.A.,

 

I will try to get
a better perspective on my life.

 

Just for today,
I will be unafraid.

 

My thoughts will be
on my new associations,

 

people who are not using

 

and who have found a new way of life.

 

So long as I follow that way,
I have nothing to fear.

 

Is there anyone else
that'd like to share?

 

-Okay.
-Yeah?

 

Hi, my name is Jerry and I'm an addict.

 

-Hi, Jerry.
-Hi, Jerry.

 

I've been clean for 21 days.

 

I'm here because my friend died.

 

He wasn't a user.

 

I knew him since second grade,

 

and he was the only person
who never, ever gave up on me.

 

He died a hero in this fucked-up,
tragic way.

 

It killed me.

 

It really did.

 

-Jerry?
-Yeah?

 

-Hey.
-Kelly.

 

I liked your share tonight.

 

Good. I like compliments.
Thank you.

 

-So 21 days, huh?
-Yeah.

 

-Bouncing off the bottom.
-That's right, yeah.

 

You should stay till the Serenity Prayer.

 

-Excuse me?
-Well, last week you left

 

before the Serenity Prayer,
and it's disrespectful to leave before it.

 

Disrespectful to who?

 

To your recovery.

 

Well, my recovery thanks you.

 

-Are you married?
-No.

 

Do you have children?

 

Do I have children?
Two.

 

A six-year-old son
and a 10-year-old daughter.

 

Well, I should probably go,

 

but I'll see you next week.

 

Yeah.

 

Buckle up!

 

-Hey. Hi.
-Hi. Hey.

 

You hungry? You want me
to make you a sandwich or...

 

No, no, I'm fine.
You think I could use the computer?

 

Yeah. Sure.

 

Howard wants me
to look into something.

 

Okay. Come on,
I'll show you.

 

It's in there.

 

I know I should...
I think I need to clean it out or...

 

Those shoes are looking good!

 

So, how does a lawyer
become a heroin addict?

 

-Really?
-Yeah.

 

Well, you start by doing coke, and then
you move on to a little crystal meth,

 

you get paranoid, then you find heroin,
and after that...

 

But you were a good lawyer, right?

 

Who cares?
Look at me.

 

Come work for me.

 

I don't know the first thing
about the mortgage business, Howard.

 

You know what a house is, right?

 

That's a good interview.
You got the job.

 

Here you go.

 

Thank you.

 

-And here's the living room.
-Yeah.

 

As you can see, Doris gets her
decorating tips from Uday Hussein.

 

She's gonna get all this, you know,
the house and everything.

 

-So you're gonna go for it?
-Yeah.

 

But I'm not good at facing my fears.

 

I'm not strong like you.

 

Strong like me?

 

Look, you're gonna have
to take this test,

 

the Washington State
mortgage brokers' exam,

 

but don't freak out.
I'll coach you through it.

 

-You sure?
-Yeah.

 

Good.

 

Hey. I brought your laundry.

 

-Yeah.
-Thank you.

 

You look good.

 

I mean, a lot better than you did
when you got here.

 

Thank you. Thirty-nine days.

 

What's heroin like?

 

You ever heard that expression,
"Being kissed by God"?

 

Well, that's just at first.

 

All you do is you chase it.

 

You chase that initial feeling
when you can never get it back.

 

You can get the escape
when you do get high,

 

but never like the first few times.

 

I wanna escape.

 

Yeah.

 

I wanna know
what it feels like to escape.

 

No, you wouldn't.

 

Yes, I would.

 

And I would chase that feeling all day.

 

I would chase it
until I couldn't chase it anymore.

 

-No, you wouldn't.
-Yes, I would chase it.

 

No, you wouldn't.

 

You're too strong.

 

Too engaged.

 

I'm sorry.

 

Sorry about that.

 

Yeah.

 

I'm sorry.

 

Oh, you...

 

Let's play, sucker!

 

Don't let my head get wet.

 

-You don't let your head under water?
-No.

 

Can you put your chin under water?

 

Show me.

 

How about this ear?

 

-And the other ear?
-Yeah.

 

And the top of your head?

 

There, you just put your head
under water.

 

Your chin, the top of your head,
both of your ears.

 

That's everything, man.
How do you feel?

 

I don't know.

 

Well, why don't you put it under
and tell me?

 

You've already done it.

 

It's easy to do something
you've already done, man.

 

-Wanna do it fast?
-Yeah.

 

On three?

 

One, two, three!

 

-Hi.
-Hi.

 

Everything okay?

 

-Yeah. Can l...
-Yeah, come in. Yeah.

 

Sit down.

 

Sit down. Yeah.

 

What you did today broke my heart.

 

What'd I do?

 

You got Dory
to put his head under the water.

 

-Just a cute trick, you know.
-He's six.

 

Harper put hers under
when she was only three.

 

It was something
that Brian tried and tried

 

to get Dory to do,
but he couldn't.

 

And that victory today
of getting Dory's head to go under

 

was not supposed to be yours.

 

It wasn't meant for you
to have that moment.

 

And for me, watching you was like this...

 

This...

 

I'm sorry.

 

Harper's missing.

 

The principal just called.

 

She's not in school now
and she wasn't there yesterday, either.

 

She's been missing school for two days,
but she was here last night.

 

I'm freaking out, Jerry.
She's not answering her cell phone.

 

I saw her get on the school bus
this morning, okay?

 

Well, you stay here in case she comes
back because I'm going to the school.

 

..Iife without you.

 

And you know I'm not afraid to die.

 

That's between you
and yourself, Norma.

 

You think I made that up
about the gun, don't you?

 

Harper!

 

Call your mommy right now
and tell her you're fine.

 

Yeah, it's almost over.

 

Call her right now!
Right now, young girl!

 

How'd you know where to find me?

 

Your dad told me.

 

You know,

 

you could marry my mom
and then she'd be happy again,

 

and we could be a family.

 

That could never happen, Harp.

 

Why not?

 

Because that would make it so
my best friend never existed.

 

But...

 

He did exist.

 

I guess that's why.

 

And it doesn't matter because I could
never fill his shoes, you know?

 

You know what?
I passed the test, though.

 

-Really?
-Yep.

 

-Good job.
-Thank you.

 

Well, go ahead and tell her.

 

You tell her.

 

Well, there is a week every year

 

that the Park Theater plays a different
black-and-white movie every day,

 

and Brian used to take off work
and pull Harper out of school,

 

and they'd both play hooky together

 

and see one of these
black-and-white movies,

 

so that's where
I found baby Hitchcock over here.

 

How'd you know about the movies?

 

Brian told me.

 

So how the fuck did you know about it
and I didn't?

 

I don't know.

 

Maybe he knew if you did,
you wouldn't let him do it again.

 

Just don't take it out on her, okay?

 

It's not her fault.

 

What's wrong?

 

This isn't working, Jerry.

 

Those are my kids,

 

and I don't need you or anybody else
telling me how to raise them.

 

I know that.

 

You need to get your stuff
and you need to go.

 

Go.

 

Audrey.

 

Audrey.

 

Audrey.

 

Audrey.

 

Audrey, Audrey, stop.

 

This is unfair.

 

Not to me, to Harper and Dory.

 

Yeah, you're being selfish.

 

Fuck you!

 

-Thank you, Michael.
-Thank you, Michael.

 

Anyone else?
Okay, who's next?

 

Kelly.

 

Hi, my name's Kelly and I'm an addict.

 

-Hi, Kelly.
-Hi, Kelly.

 

So I'm really mad today and frustrated

 

because there's this woman
at the convalescent home I work at,

 

her name's Catherine.
She's 96 years old.

 

She's always been this really upbeat,
high-energy, optimistic...

 

Big smile all the time, and she was
recently diagnosed with cancer.

 

But it's the kind that spreads slowly,
you know, it takes about 20 years.

 

And I didn't want them to tell her.
You know, what's the point, right?

 

She's gonna die of old age.
She's not gonna die of cancer.

 

They fucking told her!

 

And now she knows,
she's in her bed all day,

 

she sleeps, she cries.
It's...

 

I just...
I don't think that they should've told her.

 

I'll be back.

 

-Thanks, Kelly.
-Thanks, Kelly.

 

Now, for those who wish,
please let's join in the Serenity Prayer.

 

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,

 

the courage to change the things I can,

 

and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

Are you gonna sell those to buy drugs?

 

Excuse me?

 

Are you gonna sell it to buy drugs?

 

Why aren't you in bed?

 

I had a nightmare.

 

Well, me, too.

 

Don't steal those. Put them back.
It's bad.

 

Put them back.

 

Put them back.

 

Okay.

 

-It's not good.
-Okay.

 

Okay.

 

So what's your nightmare about?

 

I woke up,

 

went into my mom's bedroom.

 

She wasn't there.
She was gone.

 

I came down here
to check where she was.

 

Then I woke up.

 

You know, the good thing is that it's...
It's just a dream.

 

It's not real.

 

She usually sits with me
until I fall back asleep.

 

"l look at each game, each day,
as a new chance."

 

Jerry! Let's play, sucker!

 

Jerry's gone! He's moved out!

 

He's gonna go do drugs again.

 

He's not gonna go do drugs, honey.
Why would you think that?

 

Is it because of me?

 

Because I skipped school
to go see those old movies?

 

I promise, I promise,
I'll never do it again!

 

Just let Jerry come back!

 

Honey, nothing you did
made Jerry leave, okay?

 

He's gonna be back, you'll see.
And he's gonna be fine.

 

He's a big guy.

 

Trust me on this one.
Come on, give me the ball.

 

Does that mean Jerry's gonna die now?

 

Congratulations on two years
of being clean.

 

Thank you.

 

My name is Frances and I'm an addict.

 

Hi, Frances.

 

Coming here for two years now

 

has made me believe
that this is possible.

 

My mother gave me this bear
when I was five years old,

 

and I plan to pass this bear
on to my daughter when she's five.

 

You're gonna make it, girl.

 

Thank you.

 

Jerry?

 

Who is this?

 

Who's this?

 

My name's Kelly.

 

Is this where Jerry lives?

 

-Yeah.
-Is he there?

 

'Cause he wasn't at the N.A. meeting.

 

It was Fran's birthday,

 

and this wasn't a meeting
that he would've missed.

 

What does that mean?

 

He's relapsed.

 

Do you have any idea
where he might be?

 

You don't wanna go there.

 

Hey, baby!

 

Jerry?

 

Jerry?

 

Jerry! Jerry!
It's Audrey.

 

-Hi, Audrey.
-It's Audrey. Get up.

 

I'm taking you home.
Come on! Get up! Get up!

 

Come on.

 

Come on.

 

You see what's left?

 

Shut up, Jerry.

 

What can I get for you, Jerry,

 

right now,
that's gonna help you feel better?

 

Chocolate.

 

Chocolate.

 

Come on. Jerry.

 

It's fucked up.
It's fucked up.

 

-It's fucked up.
-Sit down, Jerry. Sit down. Yeah.

 

Jerry?

 

What else do you need?

 

You know what?
I would like some ice cream, please.

 

Okay, I'll get you some ice cream,

 

but for right now, Neal is gonna
stay here with you, okay?

 

Okay?

 

-Hi, Neal.
-Hey, Jerry.

 

Looks like we're gonna be roommates
for a while, all right?

 

Looks like we're gonna be roommates
for a while, all right?

 

Fine with me, but don't...

 

Hey, Jerry?

 

Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

 

Too much sleep.

 

Well, we're gonna get you cleaned up.

 

Get you out of those clothes.

 

I hate it, man. I hate it.

 

Oopsie-daisy.
Okay, you got any more drugs on you?

 

I don't. Oh, no.

 

Any needles?

 

Okay, get that off.

 

We're gonna put that...

 

Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

 

Hey, you just got here.
Go ahead, sit down.

 

Who's with him?

 

My brother.
Thanks for telling me about him.

 

Are you his girlfriend?

 

No. No.

 

He

 

was my husband's best friend.

 

The one who was shot?

 

Was he the love of your life?

 

I lost the love of my life, too.

 

To an overdose.

 

But it's what got me clean.

 

You know, they say
that every time a user dies,

 

there's one
that gets clean because of it.

 

How long ago?

 

2,653 days.

 

Does it get better?

 

It gets different.

 

I have a new life,

 

so now I can have a new love of my life.

 

Well, I don't know anything
about addiction, Kelly,

 

so would you like to help me?

 

Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Okay!

 

Hey, hey, hey.

 

Come on, come on,
come on.

 

Come on. Come on,
come on.

 

Come on. Come on.
Come on.

 

You gotta breathe.
You gotta breathe, baby.

 

It's me, it's me. It's okay.
You gotta breathe.

 

I got you.

 

It's okay.

 

Okay, okay. Nice and easy.

 

I feel like shit.

 

So the antacid you can give him now.

 

The tea is to help him
keep down solids,

 

and you want to give him
the antihistamine really only at night.

 

-Okay. No, no, no, that's for Jerry.
-Nice.

 

Do you want a little taste? Huh?

 

When can I see him?

 

Very soon, honey. Promise.

 

All right. Come on,
right here, man.

 

Take this. Take this.
It's gonna help you out.

 

All right, get it down,
get it down.

 

A little water.
All right.

 

I'm cold!

 

Are you gonna die like my dad?

 

Yeah.

 

When?

 

As soon as possible, I hope.

 

You're kidding, right?

 

I brought you some cookies and water.

 

C-3PO and R2-D2.

 

Yeah.

 

3PO was a little stuck-up.

 

Yeah.

 

I like R2-D2 better.

 

Excuse me.

 

He seemed more accessible.

 

Here.

 

Here! Get back.

 

Hey, Jerry.

 

-Hi, Audrey.
-Ready, Emily?

 

Come on in.

 

I'm just...
I'm smoking.

 

Well, it's okay,
you can smoke inside.

 

Okay.

 

So he does not pay, right?

 

So, essentially, we are...

 

-Hi, Diane.
-Hi!

 

Hi.

 

-How you doing?
-Feeling better.

 

Good. You look better.

 

Thanks.

 

He's so wrong.

 

What?

 

"R2-D2 is more accessible?"

 

So it wasn't a hallucination, huh?

 

No. That was my son.

 

He was so cute.
Brought me a cookie and water.

 

Hold on, excuse me.

 

Dory!
What did your mother say?

 

What did your mother say?
What did your mother say?

 

You wanna sit and have some dinner?

 

I think you should eat, you know?
Maybe you can keep it down.

 

I'll try.

 

See how he's spinning around like that?

 

Brian used to do the same thing.

 

Basketball games,
soccer games, any game.

 

I know.

 

I miss the silliness,

 

the fun.

 

I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel
happy again.

 

Am I ever gonna feel beautiful?

 

You are beautiful.

 

No, I mean on the inside.

 

You're the most beautiful woman
I've ever seen.

 

-Hey.
-Hey.

 

What are you doing here?

 

I invited her.

 

-Howard?
-Yeah?

 

Can we swim in the pool tomorrow?

 

I'm sorry, Dory,
but I don't live there anymore.

 

Why?

 

Well, because my soon to be ex-wife is
gonna get the house.

 

Honey, we'll find another place to swim.
Okay?

 

What kind of music
did your husband like?

 

Did he like classical music?

 

Yeah.

 

What did he drink after dinner?

 

Coffee? Italian wine?
Or nothing?

 

Chocolate milk.
He loved chocolate milk.

 

-What kind of toothpaste did he use?
-Crest.

 

He... Crest.

 

Come on, ask me a question, Kelly.

 

Okay, what was his favorite movie?

 

I can't remember.

 

He liked this really old boring one,
with the guy from Meet the Fockers.

 

Godfather II.

 

-lt was One, actually.
-Yeah.

 

No, he liked Two.

 

My dad shot a squirrel.

 

-He did?
-Yeah.

 

He killed it.
He cried a lot.

 

He was nine.

 

-We had a fire.
-You did?

 

Yeah.

 

How did it happen?

 

It was electrical.

 

-The garage door opener went kaput.
-Oh, yeah.

 

-Yeah.
-My dad wasn't upset, but my mom was.

 

Yeah.

 

We lost so many things, I mean,
baby clothes, our photo albums.

 

My bike.

 

Your bike, important papers,
everything, just...

 

We lost a lot. And I remember, l...

 

I went to him and I said, you know,
"How can you be so calm?"

 

And he said, "Hey, you know,
those are just things, Audrey.

 

"Those are just the stuff.
That's just stuff.

 

"We still have each other."

 

Hi.

 

Are you okay?

 

This is a list

 

of all the things we lost in the fire.

 

He's gone.

 

He's gone.

 

Jerry! Why? Why?

 

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

 

It's gonna be okay.

 

Audrey?

 

Yeah? I'm back here. In Dory's room.

 

Harper told me you wanted to see me.

 

Hey, come on. Sit down.

 

So I spoke to Kelly.

 

And...

 

She said that this, you know...

 

This facility, or rehab place
really worked for her.

 

So...

 

Now, I was kind of thinking
that maybe you should go and...

 

Audrey, you've already done
enough for me.

 

Right. Okay, but, look,
if you're gonna make this about money,

 

then I'm gonna be pissed.

 

Now, if you wanna make it
about something else,

 

I mean, I don't know, whatever,
I'm gonna hate it,

 

but, you know, I guess I can accept that.

 

You know, Brian used to say something
to the kids all the time.

 

"Accept the good."

 

Accept the good, Jerry.

 

Do they glow in the dark?

 

Yeah. They're fluorescent.

 

Okay.

 

I'll go, but under one condition.

 

When I come out, I'm gonna get a job,

 

and I'm gonna pay you back, down
to the last penny, and you will take it.

 

Promise?

 

Hey, Harp.

 

Hi, Jerry. Wanna play?

 

-Can I talk to you for a second?
-Yeah.

 

Okay, here it is.

 

I'm gonna be leaving soon.
I'm gonna go to a sort of hospital.

 

-For how long?
-Well, I don't know.

 

But when I get out, I'm gonna have
my own place and you can come visit.

 

You mean
you're not staying here anymore?

 

No.

 

Why the face?

 

That's how it was always gonna be.

 

No! You can't just come here
and pretend to be my dad and leave!

 

Harper, I never pretended
to be your daddy.

 

Where's your sister?

 

She locked herself in her room.
She's mad.

 

-Why? She's mad at you?
-No. You.

 

She's mad at me, huh?

 

She doesn't wanna talk to anyone.

 

Okay, watch your hand. Scram.

 

Jerry!

 

Jerry. Man.

 

I thought I was gonna miss you.

 

-I'm proud of you, man.
-Thank you.

 

I'm going back to my wife.

 

I'm lonely as fuck in town, man.

 

Okay.

 

Howard?

 

Thank you.

 

Harper?

 

I want to say goodbye.
Can you take a look at this note?

 

I love you.

 

Hey.

 

Are you gonna be my friend
when you get better?

 

I'm gonna be your friend forever.

 

Like you were with my dad?

 

You bet.

 

Now give me a real kiss.

 

Good. Okay.

 

Wait! Wait!

 

Wait!

 

Wait! Jerry!

 

Hey!

 

Hi, my name is Jerry and I'm an addict.

 

-Hi, Jerry.
-Hello, Jerry.

 

I've been clean for 89 days.

 

My mind is clearer,

 

and I think it's getting better.

 

Every day, a little bit.

 

But I wanna talk about this dream
I keep having.

 

It always starts
with me stealing silverware.

 

Then I go sell it to this guy

 

who I used to know
who owned a catering service.

 

Then with the money, I go to this place
where I used to buy my drug of choice,

 

and he's not around.

 

So I go to other spots, right,

 

but for some reason, no one is around.

 

All of Seattle is dry,

 

and then I get that feeling, the dread,

 

and I panic.

 

And I start running,

 

and it's raining, and it gets dark.

 

And then I'm in my old apartment,
and I'm thrashing right through it,

 

Iooking for something
I might have stashed away.

 

And I think I'm having a seizure.

 

And then I find a balloon
hidden in my suitcase.

 

So there I am

 

with a bag of junk in one hand

 

and the money for my next fix
in the other,

 

and I feel at total, utter peace.

 

And I wake up.

 

One day at a time.

 

One day at a time.

 

One day at a time.

 

One day at a time.

 

Thank you.